I am reporting live from Night Vale Elementary School, where a divisive meeting between the Night Vale Parent Teacher Association and the Night Vale School Board has just adjourned.
The ethereal and menacing Glow Cloud that serves as the School Board President has temporarily dissipated. The fires that can be put out, have been put out. The barricades are being taken down, and the Sheriff’s Secret Police are allowing survivors to search for loved ones.
Those who escaped with their lives – and sanity – describe a chamber thundering with raised voices desperately petitioning the Glow Cloud with their needs. Requests were denied to change the bus route through the sentient Sargasso from which no buses have ever returned.
The School Board was also apathetic to petitions for a wheelchair ramp at Dagger’s Plunge Charter School, citing perilous struggle as one of the lessons children must absorb before the great culling – by which they mean the day-to-day complexities of adulthood. They might also mean a literal culling; we were all to frightened to ask follow-up questions.
The slumping, gray-faced board members, cowering beneath the Glow Cloud, also heard the request of Tuck and Herschel Wallaby for a new school computer to assist their daughter.
"Our daughter, Megan, is a detached adult man’s hand!" screamed Megan’s mother at the pitiless Cloud. "We do not know where she came from or why she is only a grown man’s hand, but we know that we love her. She is teased so much at school for not having a body. Please, lift the ban on computing machines at the school, and buy a computer to help her communicate!”
Satsuki, the tragically widowed mother of Hanu Saki Cyberghost Mark III, also added her agonized wailing in support of a new computer for the schools.
The Glow Cloud was uncharacteristically generous.
“DO NOT DISCARD YOUR DEAD IN THE EARTH!" intoned the Glow Cloud. "STRETCH THEM OUT BENEATH THE SKY, AND LET THEM BE CLAIMED BY HANDS THAT REACH DOWN FROM ABOVE. YOU ARE PERMITTED TO BELIEVE THESE ARE THE HANDS OF ANGELS.”
The School Board then announced that the purchase of a new computer would be made during the next alignment of the red star of Betelgeuse with our supposed moon.
As it turns out, that rare astronomical event occurred seconds after the ruling.
So, it is happening right now! The 310-year interval just flies by so quickly, and a new computer is right this moment being brought into the school.
More on the computer situation as it develops.